I Hate Editing

Of course I do. Everyone does.  I hate rereading a piece until I hate every stupid word.  I hate the futility of not being able to see my mistakes because I know what I meant. But I really hate the wall I just hit. Background:  I know I am not that great a writer; but … Continue reading I Hate Editing

Get Off the Rainbow, Autism Is Not All Positive

I believe in Neurodiversity, I believe there are a lot of positives to being Autistic, but I don't believe in the gag order some of the Neurodiversity lobby are trying to guilt us into.  Living with a person who is neck deep in all the darker aspects of Autism as  a disorder is hard. And … Continue reading Get Off the Rainbow, Autism Is Not All Positive

Crisis Over, Back to Normal!

I have a bad headache, heartburn and I feel tired.  That's right I am back to normal. Intellectually I was over the incident I am torn constantly. yet I barely ate and slept 2 to 4 hours a night for 10 days.  I was crying every time I tried to write, critique and just randomly.  Yet again … Continue reading Crisis Over, Back to Normal!

I am torn constantly.

This is not how I think things happened, this is how I think I feel things happened and will continue to happen.  Intellectually it was a minor incident that is past.  Physically I am crying often and my head, back and stomach are clearly showing that I am not over anything. This is not a … Continue reading I am torn constantly.

He Let His Mind Wander, Now People Will See It.

My husband has started a blog.  Oh I know you may recall that I actually made him a blog as a present; but its not that one.  He is still ignoring that one; but do I feel bitter?  Yes, yes I do, very bitter, more bitter than usual if you can believe that. It is … Continue reading He Let His Mind Wander, Now People Will See It.

What’s Happening? Warning depressing content.

I have 45 years of depression and anxiety cycles behind me.  I know how they work.  I know so well that the knowledge has for years blunted the deeper end of depression. I go down, triggered by a mixture of sensory hazards; summer heat & brightness for example, memory; an event that has caused problems … Continue reading What’s Happening? Warning depressing content.

My darkness

As the pain deepens The chasm widens Every approach from either side Does some more damage The gulf more wide I speak to my children I try to explain Then fall back into habit and only complain They don't understand me To me they're a mystery The harder  we struggle The harder we try We're … Continue reading My darkness

Warning, Disclaimer, Whatever

I write a lot of silly things.  Cool, I'm not apologizing for that.  But; and it's a big but (he he I said 'big butt', I am autistic.  And not one of these brilliantly successful, holding down a job, passing for normal autistics.  I am an old, diagnosed late, clinically depressed, high anxiety autistic.  I … Continue reading Warning, Disclaimer, Whatever

Biting the Hand That Feeds Us!

I have written a letter I plan to send to some local politicians.  To understand it Centrelink is our Social Security benefits agency, and NDIA is a new system for funding disabled people.  Autism is impossible to explain. Just a note I have met one person that defrauded Social Security; he was probably a Sociopath, … Continue reading Biting the Hand That Feeds Us!