Tag: depression
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I’ve Been…
It’s been a long while. Bit cliched, I know, restarting on New Year’s Day. But I need all the pushing I can get. KSP did not work out. Maybe because I’m a b&%@#, maybe because of the autism. But basically I couldn’t communicate my needs or my ideas. The break up was a…
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I Hate Editing
Of course I do. Everyone does. I hate rereading a piece until I hate every stupid word. I hate the futility of not being able to see my mistakes because I know what I meant. But I really hate the wall I just hit. Background: I know I am not that great a writer; but…
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Get Off the Rainbow, Autism Is Not All Positive
I believe in Neurodiversity, I believe there are a lot of positives to being Autistic, but I don’t believe in the gag order some of the Neurodiversity lobby are trying to guilt us into. Living with a person who is neck deep in all the darker aspects of Autism as a disorder is hard. And…
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My Depressing Life or This was supposed to be funnier but then I started writing.
It’s been a long time hasn’t it! Where are we all now? Well, we are still living in the same house. We are all still autistic, no miracle cures yet. Gavin is still writing a gory blog about how horrible his life is, in between being blocked for unsuitable content, and he is still trying…
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Crisis Over, Back to Normal!
I have a bad headache, heartburn and I feel tired. That’s right I am back to normal. Intellectually I was over the incident I am torn constantly. yet I barely ate and slept 2 to 4 hours a night for 10 days. I was crying every time I tried to write, critique and just randomly. Yet again…
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I am torn constantly.
This is not how I think things happened, this is how I think I feel things happened and will continue to happen. Intellectually it was a minor incident that is past. Physically I am crying often and my head, back and stomach are clearly showing that I am not over anything. This is not a…
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He Let His Mind Wander, Now People Will See It.
My husband has started a blog. Oh I know you may recall that I actually made him a blog as a present; but its not that one. He is still ignoring that one; but do I feel bitter? Yes, yes I do, very bitter, more bitter than usual if you can believe that. It is…
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What’s Happening? Warning depressing content.
I have 45 years of depression and anxiety cycles behind me. I know how they work. I know so well that the knowledge has for years blunted the deeper end of depression. I go down, triggered by a mixture of sensory hazards; summer heat & brightness for example, memory; an event that has caused problems…
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My darkness
As the pain deepens The chasm widens Every approach from either side Does some more damage The gulf more wide I speak to my children I try to explain Then fall back into habit and only complain They don’t understand me To me they’re a mystery The harder we struggle The harder we try We’re…
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Warning, Disclaimer, Whatever
I write a lot of silly things. Cool, I’m not apologizing for that. But; and it’s a big but (he he I said ‘big butt’, I am autistic. And not one of these brilliantly successful, holding down a job, passing for normal autistics. I am an old, diagnosed late, clinically depressed, high anxiety autistic. I…