My husband has started a blog. Oh I know you may recall that I actually made him a blog as a present; but its not that one. He is still ignoring that one; but do I feel bitter? Yes, yes I do, very bitter, more bitter than usual if you can believe that.
It is beautifully written, compelling and brutally honest. If you want to understand the dark side of Autism and Depression I can heartily recommend Old Fat Cutter.
Unfortunately for him I am not being very supportive, as usual. What kind of problems could I have with my husband’s blog.
- The name: Its a horrible name, it just sounds wrong to me, and it’s very self-depreciating.
- He didn’t ask me for help – I feel hurt and useless.
- I had to take a workshop but he just started and has done a beautiful job – I’m jealous.
- He got likes and followers so fast – so I’m jealous and insecure in my lack of success.
- To sum up the first part, I’m feeling jealous – which makes me feel petty & ashamed.
- He has such a low opinion of himself – What am I doing wrong? I am the main person he communicates with and I have failed to tell the most incredible person I have ever met… – so guilt.
- He is still self harming – I am so selfish I just pile pressure on him – I am such a bitch, so self loathing.
- This list is all about me when he is in such pain – what in the hell is wrong with me? I hate me so much!
- Faith in a Higher Power can sustain you through the dark. – without me would he still be Catholic? Have I failed to teach the kids about spirituality too? – My own faith is so strong how selfish of me to keep it to myself.
- He is so depressed – I am terrified that he is going to die, he is a better person than me, he is a much better parent, and I can’t live without him.
I can’t watch his videos; they trigger stims for me. I hate reading his posts because they are so scary and horrible. If you want the truth visit his site, but be prepared, his world is dark.
This post was supposed to be funny.
At this point I would like to draw your attention to all the things I have done to try & help my husband feel better:
- I have given him lots of jobs to do to make him feel useful. It is not because I am lazy, shut up Mum if you are reading, which you aren’t because you lost the address and I am free. Free to say and do whatever I please; well on my blog at least.
- I constantly tell him how to improve.
- I tell him very loudly so his hearing isn’t used up.
- I have tried poking, kicking, bops on the head, water spray and putting small, okay I admit it some quite large, dogs and cats on him.
- I have on multiple occasions yelled ‘Cheer Up, Cheer Up, Cheer up!’ while bopping him.
Nothing has worked. Yet he accuses me of not being sympathetic!
Yesterday I also tried my technique on something else. I banged my table and yelled ‘Clean up” at it. And yet it did nothing! I told it off for still being messy, and it continued to ignore me!
Is there something wrong with my technique!
Okay let’s get back on track I was intending on a separate post I was going to call;
Run. Hide, Cat Is In A Good Mood!
But I couldn’t do it because my evil husband stole all the footage and put it on You Tube and he wrote about it on his blog Family Reaction. He is stealing my material now. But the important lesson, see I care more about my readers, I care that you learn important safety tips that could save your life. I love you.
What he didn’t tell you is:
The only thing more dangerous than Catherine in a bad mood is…
Catherine in a Good Mood!
Danger, run, hide, get away, protect your valuables. Catherine is in a good mood and she’s going to have fun, no matter what it takes!