I have a bad headache, heartburn and I feel tired. That’s right I am back to normal.
Intellectually I was over the incident I am torn constantly. yet I barely ate and slept 2 to 4 hours a night for 10 days. I was crying every time I tried to write, critique and just randomly. Yet again my body was betraying me.
I had continuing concerns that I may have been a bully and that I had burned some bridges with my flapping. But my lingering fear was that I would run. Fortunately with my genius of foresight I had entangled myself too deeply to make a quick, clean escape.
And I talked to people; my mum who was there, my husband and my support workers. Then they made me write it down and then post it. The guy involved apologised to the group but I am still worried for him, I really believe he needs more professional help. I talked to my psych and did some Therapy and some more neurofeedback. None of this worked (on its own) and I still had to go to KSP. Then the final advice from mum and the angel support worker Faye was talk to Lisa.
No not myself; I had already talked to myself and it didn’t help. For some reason repetitions of ‘What the hell is wrong with you this time, Stupid?’ did not make me feel better. I really need to review my comforting.
No KSP’s marvelous Lisa. She talked to me Friday and I admitted that Faye had wanted me to talk to her about me insane reactions. We talked for ages and miraculously she assuaged my fears. And here I was thinking my fears were impossible to defeat. Lisa is my hero!!!
Then I went to a small KSP farewell party and had cake, champagne and red wine; not all in the same glass.
And met a stag hound rescue dog; he was so sweet.
I could not find a purchasable picture & I forgot to take one so,he was a gorgeous dog, a dark coloured, fuzzy giant.
The upshot was I came home, the idea of eating no longer made me feel nauseous and I successfully ate; meaning I kept it down. Then at about 5 o clock I felt like a nap, I hadn’t napped for a couple of weeks. 12 hours later I woke up on the couch and then I had a chicken pie for dinner; yes at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like me!
Admittedly not a lot of people would aspire to this state.
But after the week I’ve had, I am sooooooooooo pleased!
So now I know if anything goes wrong again…
I am heading straight to the liquor cabinet!
Thank you, my heroes.
Lisa can be found here.
KSP can be found here.
I can be found, oops you are already here.
As Winnie the Pooh’s Tigger would say TTFN, Ta Ta For Now!