I write a lot of silly things. Cool, I’m not apologizing for that. But; and it’s a big but (he he I said ‘big butt’, I am autistic. And not one of these brilliantly successful, holding down a job, passing for normal autistics. I am an old, diagnosed late, clinically depressed, high anxiety autistic. I am not together, I have any number of rules and obsessions that box me in.
One of these is seriously effecting my ability to blog.
But first; I have almost no friends. Because if I spend too long not in contact I find it impossible to initiate contact. Not difficult, not hard, impossible. For the few humans I am still in contact with I now receive assistance time so a professional can force me to re contact people like family & doctors.
Blog followers are not friends; well that’s what I believed for the first few months. But we are friends, there are some of you I adore, some I worship, many I’d love to meet in person. Contrary to many myths about autism I attach very quickly.
Rules (the dreaded word that controls so much of my life) for creating a successful blog recommend consistency. In timing that means I should produce regular blogs.
But life and cheap technology gets in the way.
Then depression kicks in!
Then it’s been too long since my last blog!
But I can cope with that because I see it so often in blogs I follow, but I need the apology blog post. I haven’t written a blog because…
But they can be boring, or if I’m honest really depressing and disturbing – the depression, and hard to believe – the anxiety and autism bits.
Then we have the additional problems of blogging rule 1; consistency. This time in tone; is my blog a heart wrenching examination of the hardships and triumphs of a multi autistic household, an avenue for me to develop my comedic writing style; or to be blunt a pity party or an ego trip. I am worried that it is not fair to lure you with silly but harmless nonsense and then hit you over the head with despair.
I love blogging, I’m not stopping, you have been warned.