I Think My Human Costume Is Wearing Out. Part 3

Despite your misgivings I actually use the same numbering system as humans, so read part 1 first then part 2 etcetera.

So I survived The Literary Dinner and Gavin had called and was in the car outside.  Actually I had sent him a message to come in when he got there and join us for icecream because a few people wanted to meet him and he had called back in the middle of a speech; which I was teased for, claiming that it was raining too hard for him to leave the car.  I know what you are thinking; it was just an excuse to get out of meeting people.  I mean yes, obviously he would say anything to get out of meeting people but there was some truth to the excuse.  You see being from a freezing cold country; I believe it may have been down to 15*C, my delicate flower could not risk getting wet or he may catch consumption and die of the vapours.


We had a bitter argument this morning as I maintained that the precipitation was a misting rain because in order to qualify as sprinkling in my opinion drops need to be visible.  If after walking in the rain for 2 minutes their is a little damp on your outer garments that is not a sprinkle, in fact if you compare it to the misting setting on any sprayer it wouldn’t even have qualified.  But he and the Dafty Bat Queen maintained that a mist is a low lying cloud not a ludicrously slight rain.  Did I mention that baby boy was seeking shelter from this; we just can’t call it rain, weather condition.


Anyway so he wouldn’t come in and then the party started to break up.  I asked if I could help and was allowed to clear some tables.  After a while I asked about the decorations; they were going to start cleaning up and finish off in the morning.  I was going to neurofeedback in the morning and I didn’t know if they knew which decorations were mine so I thought I’d stay and help.  The rain had stopped so I contacted Gavin to come in again.  Besides someone wanted to know about the ghost talking App thingy he’d downloaded.  If you want to know try Banshee Box Session.

Okay you may be asking what’s so bad about cleaning up?  I know you don’t do any at home, you might say.  That’s really mean of you by the way!  I cleaned up okay but then I saw Lee Battersby wife with a decoration.  And I thought ‘How nice she is helping clear up!’ so I held out my hand.  It was very noisy and I’m … well me, so I didn’t ask; I just held out my hand.

The superhero’s super wife said with jokey exaggeration ‘No this is mine, I love it!’3d-crown_f12XQUuu

I didn’t care!  It was a pretty black box present with sparkles, but I had bought several packs at a school white elephant stall and we don’t like too much black on the Christmas tree; so I never use them all, pretty much 4 so the kids don’t fight.  But I was confused, and it must have shown because the super nice lady got all upset and tried to give it back.  She had been given the table decorations by the president.  I made a massive fuss and finally convinced her I didn’t want it back.  I liked the lady & her super author husband, it would be a little thrill to think we shared a similar decoration, but I don’t think I communicated that well.

I have just realised who was to blame!  Gavin; when I asked him nicely; shut up I can ask nicely, if I could have a can of coke to drink at the dinner, he had enthused about some bottles of Sparkling Asti (sweet white wine) we had left over from our holiday.  It’s his fault.  And he was behind me and could have stepped up, explained I was on day release from the asylum and fixed everything.  He had stopped rabbiting about ghosts by then.  Definitely Gavin’s fault.


On the way home I shared some of the fascinating things I had learned at the master’s feet:

  • They’ve found a marsupial lion that in many ways would have been like Australia’s favourite animal; the Drop Bear.  Gavin presumptuously told me the great Lee Battersby was pulling my leg.  Peon!
  • C.Y. O’Connor did not commit suicide only because of problems with the pipeline.  Gavin instantly became incensed at the shocking paucity of truth in education.  Apparently their teacher had spread this malicious rumour.


But after my terrible display I still had to face; da da dah…


The workshop!



I had not only signed up for the brilliant Mr Battersby’s workshop on Saturday, I had also signed up Alex. The only person; wait the worst of only four people, harder to control than me was going to this brilliant artist’s workshop with only me to stand in the way of Complete Confusion (another of Alex’s nicknames).   And again it was Gavin’s fault.


‘Do you mind if I spend $35 on this brilliant workshop?’

‘No, go ahead it sounds like just your kind of thing!  Why don’t you take Alex?’

‘Would that be okay; it would make it $70?’

‘Yeah, you’ll both really enjoy yourselves!’

I was so impressed with his generosity; I’m serious in our financial situation it’s a consideration, that I didn’t think it through.  Alex, famous Sci Fi/ Fantasy author; OMG.  Although he also writes Horror so maybe we’d give him some material.


Worse becomes worse in Part 4, coming eventually.


Published by autistsix

An autistic woman married to an autistic man trying to raise 4 autistic daughters in a neurotypical world

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