I Think My Human Costume Is Wearing Out. Part 4

This may (emphasis on the word may) make more sense if you start with part 1 first then part 2 etcetera.

First a little back tracking.  I may not have given an accurate account of the Literary Dinner.  The food was magnificent, the company scintillating, it would have been a phenomenal night except for this one horrible woman at my table.  I hate her, she ruined my evening;  nag, nag, bitch, complain.


‘There’s honey in the mulled wine, gross!’  ‘Spicy Pumpkin soup that is going to be hot, don’t you like your food mild.’  ‘Caulifower cheese, you don’t eat cheese do you.’  I ate all of those things and they were absolutely delicious.  ‘A lady doesn’t monopolize the conversation.’  ‘Why are you talking about autism again?’  ‘Your dress is way too low cut.’  ‘ Everyone else dressed up for the theme.’

My God if she hadn’t been there!

Pity she lives in my head and I don’t get to leave the house with out her.

‘Yeah, well I never get to go anywhere with out an unmannerly, obnoxious, drunk who wears sleazy clothes.’

I don’t think this is the place to argue.

‘You started it!’

To continue….

The workshop!




Alex and I went to an actual workshop with an actual author and neither of us were thrown out for sneaking in under false pretenses.  I mean we paid; but we aren’t writers we are escaped mental patients.  We may not have escaped from anyone but not being caught is the ultimate escape.  Hooray we are escapees wearing human disguises and getting away with it.

The workshop was called World Building 101 and it was incredible.  I could listen to Lee Battersby speak forever; he was so interesting and full of information.  I was a little disappointed in myself during the exercises, I think I put too much pressure on myself and found it harder to write.  Alex was comfortable & on fire.  I got really useful lists to apply to my novel prep in the future, lots of reassurance about what I was doing and some things that really made me think.  I learned so much!

Planet earth on palm.Elements of this image furnished by NASA

But no terra forming.  Before I left Tab asked me what we were going to learn, so I said ‘World Building’.

‘I know thaaaaaaat!’  Teenage disparaging look,’ What exactly will you be studying?’


I replied, ‘Terra-forming; of course!’

Then to my chagrin she said,’What?’

My own child who I have raised and loved for all these years does not know what Terra-forming is!  Unbelievable!  Worse yet; my mother has no idea.  If you don’t know, that’s not a biggie, I am sure lots of people don’t.  But my mother has known me for 46 years and she was married to my father.  No wonder the marriage didn’t work; I don’t know if I could live with someone who showed such complete disinterest in my life.  I was devastated.  I stared at my mother in sorrow and double checked this unbelievable news.  It was true, my mother lived in complete ignorance of the most important things in life.  Science fiction.


My step-dad showed an interest in things I liked, he spent hours each week watching fantasy shows with me when I was a teen and I probably never told him how much I adored him for that and the million and one other things he did to try to build me up.

Grampy Picture

Back to nonsense…

So I explained, ‘We will be learning how to change the topography, climate, eco-system etc. of planets that cannot sustain life, and making them habitable.’


Tabby rolled her eyes but my mother bought it, until Tabby complained.  When I re-explained she just laughed and then I told Tabby that we were going to learn more about creating better settings for Spec.Fic. stories.  Tab had a rehearsal nearby at the same time, so she couldn’t go.  She made me promise to take notes and tell her everything.

Painting the planet

So I had to learn for my family as well as myself.

I was determined not to blather insensibly, I am difficult to control.  I managed to keep the gibbering to a minimum.  But OMG I wanted to tell him everything about my ideas and get his opinion.  I wanted to know more about how to write, about his life about everything.

Although clearly my title was wrong.  My human costume is clearly looking okay from the outside because Mr Lee Battersby; Award winning author and genius, said I could email him.  I don’t think I’m going to because I don’t really understand the etiquette of calling and emailing and being polite and similar junk.  But clearly he didn’t notice the escapee lunatic who was crazed stalkering him when I was right in front of his eyes.


Maybe my human disguise isn’t wearing out on the outside, maybe it’s being damaged from the inside.  Am I wearing it too often; going out too often?  Am I straining the seams as I stretch to do new things?  Or am I growing too fast and it won’t fit for much longer?  I spent so long making my human costume, I’ve forgotten half the details.  But I think I’d better make a new one quickly.


I won’t hide at home any more!


Published by autistsix

An autistic woman married to an autistic man trying to raise 4 autistic daughters in a neurotypical world

5 thoughts on “I Think My Human Costume Is Wearing Out. Part 4

  1. if they dont know what terraforming is, they probably dont know how spock came back to life either. granted that was a bit of a jump-the-shark moment for the trek films (as if the first motion picture itself wasnt) but i dont care about that– when are they going to use the genesis probe to bring mr. nimoy back?!

    scotty and roddenberry are another matter. theyve flown as far from earth as possible to get away from st:voy. (it wasnt ALL bad.) this woman uses debian, hooray: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/da/ISS-42_Samantha_Cristoforetti_Leonard_Nimoy_tribute.jpg/300px-ISS-42_Samantha_Cristoforetti_Leonard_Nimoy_tribute.jpg

    incidentally, do you know what william shatners favourite brand of hot dog is? KAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHN’S! http://www.kahns.com/

    Liked by 1 person

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