Go Away 2024, My Husband Hates You.

or Happy New Year!

Hello guys (in the non-pejorative, non-gendered sense, don’t cancel me I’m disabled).

I have not been having the nicest time. I mean of course not, it’s been Christmas. My mother pointed out a decade ago, I seem to have developed a debilitating phobia of Christmas. And living with 4 adults 21 to 31 years old who are constantly spying to make sure you do not change any aspect of the mad traditions we have adopted, or try in any way to steal Santa’s thunder by pretending we help him (They know all about Santa but… tradition). And it only happens once a year, and extended family and change and… it really is surprising that I am still alive.

And then on the 15^th of December I had to get a hysteroscopy, probably misspelled, if you are a doctor; Shut up, Sir. So, I have fibroids, common, harmless but they’ve expanded until apparently, I have the equivalent of a 5 month pregnancy and all my insides are squished. Hysterectomy coming soon, well that’s something to look forward to. My poor little insides and cervix were so squished and out of place that the procedure took twice as long, they had to bring in an extra surgeon (3) and two sets of smaller instruments. And then I had trouble getting reoxygenated. I was diagnosed with urgent lung inflammation and gynaecology problems at the same time, I have had my gynaecology appointment and procedure already, my lung appointment is in March. Good to know where priorities are. Maybe they might complain to the lung doctors, and I might get a lung appointment before my hysterectomy. That would be nice.

And no, I am not naming this alien growth inside me that is trying to kill me, I’ve done that before, and it makes them harder to dispose of.

The upshot of this was though, that for the Christmas prep I was unable to move much. I wrapped 12 small presents with wrap someone else cut, bleeding. I was a passenger in the car during light hunting (No dog on my lap, a soft toy to guard me from excessive seatbelt), bleeding. I picked up an oversized hardcover book (a prezzie for me), bleeding. So, Gavin had to do everything, he panicked and… well he says 2024 was the worst anyway so…. I don’t want to talk about it.

Anywho I have plans for the New Year, not resolutions, don’t even talk about resolutions, resolutions never work, and they are jinxes.

New paragraph to avoid the … I’m not even mentioning … So, I am planning to start some forums to try to raise engagement or something, blame my new Support/Marketing/Slave Driver/We Need A Shorter Title Er, Evie. And I am going to release…

Where is the drum roll button? How has technology not added a drum roll button?

A new serial, from my new writing group prompt that got a bit out of hand. Everyone at the table had to pick a role from the dream box and we all had to write a Christmas story including all of us in it. Half an hour but we were allowed to continue afterwards. I plotted it out waiting for surgery.

Anyway, that’s next, but the kids worry if Georgie and Nick read it they won’t come back. So don’t read this Nick and Georgie! 

And here’s a preview of my planned forums:

• Sensitive

A forum for people who feel like a comforting warm hug or some community advice.

Everyone is entitled to their own emotions and fears. No judgement, no negativity, listening, comforting and sensitive advice.

• You Won’t Believe…

Humorous anecdotes from your life, imagination or both.

Don’t judge the player, judge the world. We’re in this together, attack outsiders, like our families and ‘friends’.

• What the World Needs Is More Rants.

LET IT OUT.

You can’t change the world. No Mum, you can, by finding out what’s wrong with it and ranting until people listen. I share my plans, you share yours and together we change the world.

And now Happy New Year!

I don’t know these people.

I wonder where I could meet people like this.

Pretty people, who don’t know my kids.