Help My Doctor Has Been Kidnapped

My doctor; who has been my doctor for about 25 years, has left his practice and joined one of those evil, horrible Medical Centres.  Actually it was more than a year ago, but I am not getting used to it.  I can’t deal with this.

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Medical Centres are evil, terrible carnivorous monsters who destroy individual doctor’s practices in the same way big multinationals destroy small businesses.  Then they swallow these poor destroyed doctors up so they can torture them and their patients.  They pretend to be after money but they actually have machines in every building that collect the energy of human pain and misery, that the Heads of the Medical Centres secretly gorge on becoming more powerful.

I have a few more theories but they may be a little unlikely.  I only like to discuss theories that are clearly proved like the one above.  Which is clearly the most rational explanation for Medical Centres.  For instance the plot to destroy the human will so they can eat our souls is not at this point proven, although probable.

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How do they maximise the misery they inflict?  They stick these poor innocent, marvelous, life saving paragons of all known virtues into tiny, dingy, demoralizing “rooms”.  The rooms are too small for them to bring their nice personal stuff or to stand up straight, an extra stab at their health, esteem and stamina.  These rooms are also far too small for patient dignity and too dark for reliable examinations.  They are so small that they have to have an extra room for vaccinations.  Yes the doctors’ rooms are too small for the doctor to use a needle; even on children.

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The vaccination room which is run by a nurse is huge, absolutely gargantuan, why you ask?  To further demoralize the doctors and drive more wedges between them and their patients.  Plus the constant moving between huge awful, bright rooms and titchy, dinky, dingy rooms induces a confusing mix of claustrophobia & agoraphobia rendering us vulnerable to further attacks.

No matter how much I love my doctor the waiting room and reception are solely there to try and keep the doctors and the patients apart.  From the impossible complex methods to get an appointment, to the reception desk that is designed to be intimidating.  Unlike his old receptionists who would let you know if you could go away & come back, and would let me hide in the car & wave when I should come in, you just have to sit in this centre’s cavernous, glass walled, bright as the fires of hell, bacteria swarming, stone chaired waiting room, for hours.  I have no proof but I believe they have been instructed to do this by the government as a deterrant and to help cull the weak.

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And you spend so much more time in this terrifying place with the constantly changing reception staff.  They constantly change staff so no one accidentally grows a heart and shows sympathy to the patients, than you do with your beloved doctor.doctor-visit-chart

I have no idea how to cope with this.  I’m out of thyroid medicine.  I have several symptoms that I can’t talk about anymore because my family will try and make me go to the doctor.  I have self managed a few problems, but if my family finds out they are going to start supervising me more closely.  We need some referrals and other medication.  And I don’t know how to explain to the National Disability review why physical limitations have stopped me achieving my goals but they are not actually diagnosed.

But my doctor is being held prisoner in the foyer of Hell!

 


Comments

34 responses to “Help My Doctor Has Been Kidnapped”

  1. OMG, this is so good!! 😀

    1. So many people make this mistake, I know I was fairly complimentary but Medical Centres are not good. I wish I hadn’t pulled my punches! Lol Thanks for reading!

  2. If my doctor goes anywhere I’m going with him unless he retires

    1. I have gone with him, I’m just avoiding seeing him because I’m scared of his new receptionists. Once you find a good doctor you can’t just leave, right? 🙂

      1. Forget the receptionist u talk her just to sign in

      2. Thanks!

  3. Oh how I love this!

    1. You love Medical Centres, do I even know you! Lol Thank you! 🙂

      1. No, I love your representation of the patient side. It is the absolute truth, how demoralizing the system is for patients and physicians.

      2. Sorry I really appreciated your comment, I was just joking in my answer. Thank you for commenting!

  4. I am sorry but I laughed so hard reading every line and word of this post. My parents are doctors and everything about this post it cracked me up. It’s even impossible to write, I am laughing so hard.

    1. This may be the greatest compliment I have ever received, thank you!

      1. Thank you. 🙂

  5. Hahaha!!

    1. Tatata! Ta is thanks in Aussie!

  6. Good job 👍

    1. Thank you muchly!

  7. My old dentist did the same… Actually he didn’t, but after his unfortunate accident (he survived, but ripped some nerves that left him unable to do his work) his practice was quickly overtaken by a large group of diabolical dentists. I went there three times and got a different dentist for each appointment…
    But I moved and my new one is positively gorgeous (he just talks a lot). I’m not really sure where I was going with this…

    Oh, yes. Maybe in the end the solution will be less scary or annoying than you can imagine now. Who knows, maybe the receptionist is actually human… (probably not, though).

    Also, one of the photos you used reminds me of an escape room I visited not too long ago (which just goes to show how Torture Chambers are represented in different aspects in life).

    Great post!

    1. Thank you so much for the comment. The individual receptionists aren’t that bad but there is always 3 to 5 and they change all the time. I’m just going to have to… never ever get sick again.

      1. Don’t beat yourself up too much: if you’re sick, you’re sick. Who knows. Maybe you can try and ‘collect’ all the receptionists 😉

      2. That is such a good idea, I love collecting things! Thanks! 🙂

  8. Oh god this sums up the modern waiting room so well! Over here (in America) it’s paper work, paper work, oh and here’s some more paper work (make sure to sign clearly on this dotted line, so we can have full rights to your soul), whilst waiting interminably for a doctor to see you for five seconds (slight exaggeration here, slight I say), then charge you fifty dollars or more a second…

    Meno<3

    1. I know and they are financially forcing small local practices to give up and join them. You know the Australian government looks to the USA for models on how education and medicine should work, the are about 10 years out of date & they enact failed models as well as continued ones. Thanks for reading <3

      1. Yep, they’ll be sorry then, our medical and educational fields are just screwed here, they need serious overhaul…
        Thanks for taking the time to answer back!

        Meno<3

  9. Answering such a great comment was irresistible, thank you!

  10. This is fantastic and so true!! And I love your Doctor’s visit chart and illustrations!

    1. Thank you so Much!

  11. Reblogged this on Bonnie Follett's Blog and commented:
    This is a great post on healthcare and the horrors of doctor visits in a medical centre, from an Aussie blogger who is artistic and autistic. – https://autistsix.com/2016/11/13/help-my-doctor-has-been-kidnapped/

    1. Wow I am so honoured!

  12. […] This is a great post on healthcare and the horrors of doctor visits in a medical centre, from an Aussie blogger who is artistic and autistic. – https://autistsix.com/2016/11/13/help-my-doctor-has-been-kidnapped/ […]

  13. You can’t beat the old fashioned, small and personal doctor’s practices. I miss them a lot, although the medical centre in our village isn’t like some of the huge ones in big cities. Love the way you’ve aired your thoughts.

    1. Thank you!

  14. medicine today is a tragedy. Good for you for finding the humor.

    1. Thanks!

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