So I was standing at my child’s bedroom door watching a concert she was presenting. The Machiavellian imp lured us (her parents) in by asking us to watch 1 song; one song is a hefty price to pay but worth it for an hour free of:
“Are you coming to watch my song yet!”
Charlie spotted the lack of popcorn and scarpered; sometimes that dog shows real intelligence. It was 4 long arduous songs before she finally said we were free and we fled. Running down the hall savouring the feeling of our muscles loosening up and the sound of … well, not hearing awful songs.
Okay the truth; she has always been a fantastic singer. Until….dah, dah, da:
She discovered new music on the internet!
Shut up I am not an old fogey!
Alright I am, but … just shut up anyway!
But the new music is…
Well it’s weird, so weird! In my day songs had melody and they made…. Okay even I can see where that’s going. But its not like that, my youngest listens to WEIRD music.
Her eldest sister likes pop.
Girly, teenie bopper pop!
But my main problem is; she has dragged her father into it!
His ringtone is “Like A G6”
He’s a MAN!
And he doesn’t even drink!
But what the hell! I love Taylor Swift and Katy Perry.
No. 2 seems to have an unhealthy obsession with James Taylor, James Blunt (James T Kirk too but who doesn’t) and some country crooners I’ve never heard of.
But apart from a few aberrations her taste is eclectic and pretty good.
She is in charge of the music at my wake.
Tab is obsessed with some bizarre speeded up like crazy music called Night Core or something. “Whatever!”
Her insanely, indulgent father lets her play it for entire car trips!
But not when I’m in the car.
So again, it’s not too bad. I can listen to 3 or 4 songs (think Alvin & the Chipmunks) in a row; without going completely nuts.
But then No.4; my baby, left Taylor Swift behind.
This is progress????
She has started listening to songs I’ve never heard of from the internet; and I’m terrified.
The songs are so weird!!! And I have realised that there is a negative side to weird. That’s right my favourite word has a dark side; and it is on the internet playing music to my most gullible daughter.
Bizarre songs from new musicals like ‘Hamilton’, and Disneyesque songs with sinister, dark currents drowning my innocent child.
For one thing they are high pitch and fast and are ruining her beautiful singing voice.
Shut up! I am not one of those mothers!
She’s been given solos in choir. All 4 of my girls have been in school choirs. Tasha won her school’s talent show and Cat came 2nd in a 3 school singing competition. And she was robbed, the audience was stacked with… I’m not completely one of those mothers.
My girls have the voices of angels.
And as the rest of all of them consists of some of the devil’s finest handiwork.
You can give me this me!
I am also concerned for her immortal soul!
I am concerned for her emotional well being. The mixture of light & dark in these songs; childhood tainted with the darkest recesses of the adult world, they disturb me!
Why can’t she listen to uplifting, happy songs; like my favourites?
I mean not old people music. ‘Obviously’ (teen eye roll).
I like some of the more modern stuff.
Cheery bands like Evanescence, Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Good Charlotte, Linkin Park and The Killers. Fantastic songs like ‘Hate Me’ Blue October, the subtly christmassy themed ‘Welcome To the Black Parade’ My Chemical Romance (I know you don’t believe me but listen…think…see it’s there), and heroic themes like ‘Kryptonite’ 3 Doors Down & ‘Superman’ Five For Fighting.
So I need your advice:
Do I have a leg to stand on?
Should I talk to her or leave it?
Should I offer her a chocolate to proofread this post while I go shopping somewhere; so she can’t get me?
I await your sage advice?
Thanking Graphic stock for all the images, except the family photos. I don’t believe Graphic stock currently has photos of my family (Alex says they should; in case people are looking for pictures of insane, devil’s spawn, dafty bats, trolls or burmese tigers. Gavin is prepared to sell for the right price). Some of the pictures I amalgamated on Word.