Or Nobody Likes Me Anymore
Welcome bak to the single least popular post I’ve ever made. And because it was so unloved, like me, I’ve decided to get it all out of the way in one blow, as my children would like to do with me, and doubling its size, like me who is definitely double my ideal size. So suffer.
If you wanted to not read this one with the proper context here is the first part so you can not read that first.
But this morning, after my husband left, the internet may or may not have gone down. Why don’t I know? Because some things that are internet dependant are still working. Some warnings that the internet isn’t working are showing but some indictors tell me the internet is working. Some functions aren’t allowed some are. My husband installed a new internet thingy, and I don’t even know where it is. And he hates it when he gets back home, and I am a sobbing mess curled in the foetal position. So, I decided to stop banging my head against the wall and get off the internet. I decided to work on something on Word, no internet necessary. Wrong, sometime, late last night, when I was sleeping, Microsoft installed an update, CoPilot. An AI that is going to ruin my writing, but this time I have to use credits, and then I’ll have to buy credits, won’t I? I can ruin my own writing, thank you.
Am I using credits now? I tried to close CoPilot or find out about it before I incurred debt or permanently closed off free Word. Free… ha ha! But I don’t have access to the internet, I couldn’t close CoPilot, I couldn’t research CoPilot. My 20-year-old computer nerd couldn’t do anything.
I hate CoPilot. I never ever want anything to do with CoPilot. If I end up paying for stupid evil CoPilot to annoy me with more unwanted distractions to my writing I may end up going insane.
Well to be honest more insane. Is there a more insane? At some point my brain will melt and pour out my ears. I panic at a feeling of moisture on my ears at the moment. Did I mention that the C button needs more pressure than the others? I can’t touch type and still use words like ‘panic’ or ‘can’t’.
Why do I own a computer?
Postscript.
My youngest, the aforementioned 20-year-old, overheard my saying that CoPilot used credits and may cost money. She got very angry.
So she was determined to ‘rid me of the turbulent’ program, Because I am not an AI I can misquote Shakespeare properly.
If you have read my previous works this may be repetitive but its necessary to understand the full horror of this situation. I have to avoid being alone with my thoughts most of the time. I remember a time many years ago when I was able to let my thoughts flow free, every now and again when I was in a good mood. Many, many years ago I had brief periods when I was not stressed to hell, or in other words, a good mood, well that’s what I call it. My subconscious hates me. I have been very naughty, I am almost always avoiding doing things that scare me that I should be doing, I am behind on my chores, I am in lots of fights with people who are unaware that I am really angry with them probably because I am hiding that fact until I can prove to myself that its not my fault. So, I have to avoid letting my thoughts just bounce about undisciplined, they get nasty really quick.
This is why I keep busy, to avoid my thoughts randomising. Too much rope and they weaponize.
So, when, out of the pure kindness of her heart, my baby girl confiscated my computer to fix it. I was a little panicked. And when the swearing began, the 2 second mark I believe, I was terrified. I learnt many years ago, do not try to stop angry people from swearing. Do not suggest that they leave the project until later. They will kill you. And my youngest is never that far away from committing a mayhem at the best of times.
No computer, swearing, awareness that she was helping me, knowledge that if I were competent this would not be happening, the joint effort cooperating in my head to marshal my subconscious was building up steam. The others in the room talked about Grandma’s haircut. Never, never cut your mother’s hair when you are stressed out of your head, no matter how long you’ve been putting her off, just saying. 5 minutes 10 minutes, 20 minutes, I was hanging on by a thread.
So, 20 minutes in and she finds the uninstall button. I am so happy; I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. She pushes it, it does nothing. Oh, it was that light. Should I go to the light? No, I have a duty to my children (I’m not but I have been in the past, humour helps, I am not making light, I recommend humour, if you do not understand this bit, that is really good, stay that way).
5 minutes later and she tells me its uninstalled. Without thinking I blurt out ‘that won’t last’, my only excuse is I am so far out of my mind I don’t remember where it is. I should have said thank you and left it.
Oh my… I should have said thank you. Not written thank you after some rather unflattering stuff I don’t want her to read. I have to go now and talk to my youngest. And try to sound both sincere and only slightly more insane than normal. Bye.
PostScript to the PostScript
BTW Microsoft I want what I want on my desktop, stop hijacking my desktop with pictures and the offer to tell me something about if I click on a tab.
I fell for that with pictures on the opening screen. Sure, it started with telling me interesting things about the picture, but it was not long before the information about the picture became advertising for your latest products or old products that probably aren’t selling well. Hint, they aren’t selling because people don’t want them, often because they don’t work properly for the supposed function, usually because they are primarily designed to advertise your products. Make products that actually do what your customers want and don’t prioritise advertising, then maybe your products will sell without the ludicrous levels of advertising you are currently inflicting on us.
Give me back my desktop, Microsoft.
Addendum
CoPilot came back. My eldest stole my computer and also fixed it. CoPilot came back again. It’s a tenacious little AI villain.
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