Since I have told you what is going on in my life lots of stuff has happened.
I am not, repeat NOT talking about it, well most of it.
Partially because it was horrible and I don’t wanna.
And partially because I am aware that many, if not all of you have been going through a lot worse.
Although at least you had your sensible, nice, likes you brains. I had my brain which made every awful and even some of the good things really really horrible.
But I am not going to talk about it.
I’m so sorry.
I knew I didn’t want to write this.
I’m having a nap.
Wait, I’ve been up for 4 hours today and I’ve already had an hour’s nap.
And I kinda promised to do this.
Okay, not talking about most of the stuff. But if you can remember eons ago I was persuaded to publish my two books for teens with autism.
You know I spent over a thousand dollars we didn’t really have to spare getting it ready.
And a dispute with a company that should not be named but it is a famous Australian authoress with the word’s writer’s centre appended, meant that my work would no longer be even vanity published.
Others gave me advice on how to print it, but it was all too hard. Especially since my editor who advised me to publish clearly had no idea what autism was and therefore may have not actually read the book, so I had no way to know if it was actually any good at all.
So good news. I have started going to DADAA an Australian organisation that helps disabled artists… You know… Art.
I am going to print my bookie wooks. I am I am I am. Unless the people they have been sent to hate them. But that is not positive.
If there is criticism I will just edit.
I’m not being precious. It’s not that I don’t think they could be improved. I am well aware they could be improved. Just not by me.
I hate editing.
I’m not good at editing.
And hungry. I need icecream.
Hurray, Gavin is getting me icecream.
Where was I?
Okay, so the plan is to try to con some poor unsuspecting publisher to publish my books. If that doesn’t work I’m going to put on a show.
Yes, how very Judy Garland of me.
No really, I am going to have a band, disabled of course, and do readings and explain my life and try to be funny on stage and stuff. And raise enough money to buy an IBPSMRCOW or whatever it’s called, little official codey thingy and print some bookie wooks.
But before either of those things can happen I have to practice trying to speak in front of an audience. There is a place in Bassendean called The Flying Camel and apparently I will be allowed to do open mic night stand up there.
So if any internet stalkers would like to assassinate me that would be a good time for both of us. The Flying Camel, Bassendean, Western Australia.
Ice cream’s here!
Oh and I am supposed to warn you.
My website is not professional looking. You need a very professional looking website either for self publishing or any publishing. Apparently when people look at my website they are supposed to be impressed with my professionalism and bleuh.
So we worked on my website.
It did not go well.
Which kinda proved it wasn’t my fault.
Hee hee hee!
But it is a work in progress, there will be changes. Major changes.
Not in the content. Gosh I hope the DADAA lady isn’t reading this. There will be no changes in content because if I try to present a professional and polished, and responsible and adultey profile I will get all uptight and I won’t write.
And if I don’t write there won’t be content.
And you will get really bored marvelling at all my new professionalism and will go and look at photos of cats.
I could put up photos of cats, I have cats.
Would you buy my books because I have interesting cats?
Are my cats interesting?
Is belligerant, stubborn and destructive interesting?
How do I get all that on camera?
Will that still convince people to buy my books, when you consider that there is nothing about cats at all in those books?
Should I write books about cats?
How would cats cope in the modern high school setting?
Am I getting off the track?
It’s okay I can fix this in editting.
Except I hate editing so I’m not going to.
Anyway I think that people are going to have to settle on a professional looking Home Page and maybe some other serious pages that someone sensible might even do for me.
Maybe I can pretend to be reasonable long enough for some gullible person to write a page describing me that didn’t include swearing.
Then important people who do not have time to read will be impressed with my professional looking website. And I can keep writing weird stuff.
And we will have fun.
And as a tantalising tease, I have another piece of good news coming.