Every Friday lately my mummy has been going off to somewhere. Of course I’ve tried punishing her when she gets home but even if I make her cry, that woman has been crying at the drop of a hat lately, she still leaves every Friday. She is gone forever, four sleeps and lunch time. The Little Things get back from school before she returns.
So when she started packing my things; you know pink unicorn, my leash, the park bag, Ensuite dog bed, I didn’t panic. She remembered the dog treats but she also packed those stupid bone thingies that I only eat when there are dogs around. It is not good for dogs to be overfed and I am their protector.
It was still with some trepidation that I got in the car, the fact that it was Grandma’s car not Daddy’s made me uneasy. Daddy has a big fun car you can pack all the Little Things in and drive around looking at lights, or you can go to parks or have food pushed in the window by kind strangers, we can go and rescue Little Things from school or even go shopping at the pet shop. Grandma does not allow heads outside the window, or snacks, and she gets growly if you call out to things on the side of the road; no fun.
Besides Grandma generally only drives us to one place; the vet.
Vets seem to be nice people but take a sniff, as soon as the door opens you can smell the fear, pain and anguish of a million dogs. The people talk nicely and pretend to want cuddles, then they stick things into your bottom and put needles in you. Sure they give you a treat afterwards but you are too scared and upset to eat it. Mummy always puts mine in her handbag so I can have it later, but not in Grandma’s car. And they send home poison and somehow convince your very own family to try and make you swallow it, for days. Vets are completely evil.
So I’m in the car thinking are we going to Mummy’s hideaway, but we drove too far. We drove past all the parks and shops and Little Things’ school. There could be only one reason. I started to cry and point out the window at all the nice places they could take me that weren’t the vet. They gave me cuddles and kept saying ‘KSP’. Was KSP the name of the vet, the hospital or the disease they thought I had? Was KSP fatal? I didn’t know, I asked, but I couldn’t understand the answer! I was doomed!
So we get to a place and they made me get out of the car. They brought all my important stuff. This must mean an overnight stay, or maybe forever. I was distraught!
Mummy made me walk up some stairs to a door, it opened and there was the vet. She knew my name and tried to pretend she was nice. I strained forward so she could pat me. What, did you expect me to be rude? But I kept my paws firmly planted on the top step, I was not going into the clinic without a fight.
Then Mummy relented, we went into the vet’s house instead.
Grandma cuddled me and left. Mummy took me to a room with big glass windows showing park. She put Ensuite bed on the floor and unicorn on a chair and sat down on the next chair along. I looked out the window for a bit, then I sat on unicorn. I was still a little uneasy, where was the TV, why couldn’t I hear it, were we having a blackout, who would save the fish? Then Mummy’s computer started making TV sounds. She asked me if that felt better? I told her it did. We stayed there for a while and had some people lollies. I forgave Mummy for stealing more than half of each lolly because at least she remembers to share each one.
I realised, this was not a vet!
I was so relieved. But then another thought occurred to me; the lady that had wanted to pat me wasn’t a vet! I immediately brought this to Mummy’s attention. We went back immediately to rectify the situation and give the poor lady some much needed spaniel affection. I was sparing, a little spaniel goes a long way and I didn’t want to spoil her relationship with the dog I could smell she lived with. How could a mere dog live up to a spaniel?
Then I forced Mummy to take me on a nice walk. Next week we will work on eating weeds. I know its good for me, you know its good for me, what is wrong with my mother and how do we get my leash away from her?
I am expecting answers so get writing!
Yours in all sincerity,
Charles, King and Cavalier, Spaniel.