Read the Preamble first, hopefully it will make you less angry!
Then read the next bit and then this one because… Well that’s how I wrote them. I think there is kind of an order to it, you know if you read the bits separately they appear to have no clear beginning, middle and end, while if you read them in order, you can tell for certain it makes no sense. It’s important to be fully informed.
So here it is:
Governance, the Serpent That Destroys All.
How could government be bad under autistic people though? I mean we are honest, logical and bright. Admittedly neurotypicals would never elect us because you believe lies and don’t believe the truth. Plus you think we are impaired because we act weird and don’t like what you like, and at the BBQ we look pained and don’t get your jokes. Go away I don’t want to talk to you now. Sorry, painful train of thought there.
And you may not like to be ruled by us because we would tell you the truth and you would panic. And we would do things because they were sensible not popular and you would disagree with us, a lot.
But surely if we were ruling our own kind that would work out? I can’t really see autistic people going to war. Not because we wouldn’t want too, but long term logistics and cleaner methods that don’t involve blood and dirt and camping would always present themselves.
But most autistic people are stubborn, not stubborn like real people, weird crazy stubborn. Like:
‘I hate the taste, it is bad for me but I have to eat this now!’
‘Why?’
‘Because it is ten ‘o’clock!’
‘What?’
‘I have to eat this at ten ‘o’clock!’
‘Why?’
‘It’s ten o one!’
‘Get up, get up, why are you convulsing on the floor?’
‘I didn’t eat the thing at ten ‘o’clock!’
The answer that you can not explain at the time because panic is kicking in because it is ten o’clock and you are talking to someone instead of eating, is that you did this two days in a row a month ago and now you can’t not do it because …
This is too hard to explain.
Schedules are insanely real to most of us, but they are out of our direct control and, most importantly, individual to only ourselves. I do not know how we can collect and internalise schedules accidently but we do, and it takes a hell of lot to shift us. And the only overlap tends to be coincidence. So first we need people who can all meet at the same time.
And can get to a common place, and can agree where they will meet, etcetera ad infinitum. Phobias and sensory sensitivities make us avoid a huge raft of things, often differently to any other autistic person, obsessions and distractibility make it hard for us to concentrate on things we need to.
Then we have rules and procedures, gleaned from dozens of sources and coalesced in a remote part of our mind that we can neither understand nor directly influence. Sentences only half heard become the firmament for a set of rules so bizarre that even the individual with them can not guess at their provenance, but rigid. In fact the more the origin is steeped in mystery the more solid and immutable the rule. Walking on a crack on the sidewalk creating a fugue state where not even the individual’s own mother can convince them that her back is not in fact; broken.
We will argue for hours over the correct way to start a meeting. We will disagree about the arrangement of desks until the entire parliament are sitting under their chairs, eyes closed, fingers in ears, making strange noises, convulsive stimming optional.
What will we do without carers, who will wake us up, who will remind us we need to eat and drink, who will clean up the mud that is blown onto the floor and we can not move or speak until it is gone. Who will drive us places and stop us staring at random objects for hours on end. Who will tell us not to lick windows and posts or that hitting people until they make that funny sound is not appropriate. Not us, we’re not entirely sure.
We need neurotypical people, we shouldn’t, but we do! How do they work out all these things with their limited little social obsessed brains? It is a complete mystery, but the sad fact is; I don’t think we can get by on our own.

For now…
Keep planning…
The revolution just needs more planning.

Then we will see! Muah Ha Ha!
Who has the list?
It would be a pleasant change to know the truth was the truth, not “alternative facts”, that is lies! Take over now, please.
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I’m doing my best. Meanwhile apply for your honorary autistic status, we will take Dougie and Andy as references.
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LOL! Will do!
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although im against it, a robot government could solve these problems and more in the short term.
there are a few too many things designed that way already. hackable cars**, dishwashers, refrigerators, toasters, the list gets more ridiculous. do not buy…
** words said by a technician i know recently, who i hope was exaggerating: “the key fob for the car wont work unless the wifi is on.” …and they need to stop connecting the entertainment system to the one that controls the actual car movement. just get a classic car, theyre going to be all thats safe a little too soon. blaah.
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Yeah, I think robots might be a little too easily controlled by agents of the dark side. Maybe cats with telepathic controls. No lets not give cats any more power.
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lets try putting axolotls in charge.
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See, if you all were given your own space, with a neurotypical assistant, and were able to communicate remotely – I think there is a future in this plan.
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Definitely, a necessary evil. Like Fire Neurotypicals make wonderful servants but truly terrible masters.
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Lisa for president in the Autistic utopia! Will you be taking on neurotypical refugees? How do I apply?
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As above apply for honorary autistic status, I have actually put you on the list; Wally will be reference one and Smokie and Charlie are both volunteering as reference 2. Of course you will be required to leave Adelaide.
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Maybe we could put the rat in charge. 😃
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