Teenagers and Trust

I have 4 daughters, if you only include humans. Given my topic today is how far to trust children out of your sight I think it’s safe to only include the humans because I don’t let the pets leave the place without supervision.

I love pets! I believe all animals have rights but I do not believe pets, even adult pets should be given rights for self determination. So I don’t concentrate on street smarts, social etiquette, job skills or independent living skills for the pets. Which is a good thing because they don’t really listen to me. When I give my rats a lecture on appropriate behaviour Morgan stands on his hind legs, holds a finger and puts his second paw on his chin, gazing at me as if he’s listening. But so far he has not taken any of my advice. The others don’t even pretend to listen to me, they just want cuddles on their own terms. My pets kind of have a level of self determination, pets are not very conscientious. I don’t know about pets any more!

Any way, little girls need to learn how to live in the real world. And during the teen years there is a constant balancing act between independence & safety. Fortunately for me my eldest child wouldn’t leave the house; suicidal semi-conscious teens are at least not out all night; no boyfriend, no drug worries. You have to look on the bright side.

Number 2 had a boyfriend but neither ever went anywhere and they were supervised a lot. Again regularly unconscious agoraphobics who are too impulsive to cross the road without their hands held can’t get themselves in a lot of trouble. I told you Autism has it’s benefits.

This means it is only now that I am starting to have, you know, normal adolescent parenting problems. Damn therapy and support; do you have any idea how much work and pain I have put myself through to build up my delicate, damaged darlings. And what is my reward? Bah, humbug! My husband was right all along. The real world is horrible; we should have stayed away.

My eldest little baby is going on a co-ed sleep over. Am I a bad parent letting my little girl go to a co-ed sleepover? She is 24 and it’s an Anime club, besides she’s a crazy prim and proper prude. Am I worrying over nothing?

A couple of days ago I let my 16 year old spend the day with her boyfriend, with his parents out most of the day. Yes, of course I had second thoughts, I worried about it for ages. And now she’s at a sleep over; I’m assuming girl’s only, but OMG I didn’t ask. It will be girls only, won’t it? OMG and I used to worry about being too strict!

Then again if he were to try anything; like an open mouth kiss, she would slap him, yell ‘Gross!’ and probably call the police. And having met her friends, if boys arrived they would turn hoses on them, throw them towels so they wouldn’t catch cold and then call the police; without waking their parents, adults need their sleep after all. I mean these girls are angels; sweet, thoughtful, nurturing and morally upright spiritual beings incarnate.

The littlest one had her friends over last week. It was terrifying, it is always terrifying having humans in the house. But we had heard such things about these hellions, and well Tasha is Tasha. If pressed I will admit she is actually well behaved by any standards I’ve heard of, except mine. She is the black sheep of the family, of the 6 of us she is the least likely to blindly obey anyone who we don’t have proof is not an authority. We are so good it is ridiculous. My pets use guilt as a motivator for me; successfully.

But unbelievably they were lovely, well behaved young adolescents. Apart from the paralyzing fear that having humans in the house always engenders, they were barely noticeable. Stayed in the theatre room apart from lunch and a little walk together. Polite, respectful, nice; nicer than Tash on the day, but in her defense we’re her parents, there isn’t an adult on earth outside of her immediate family that she isn’t more polite to than us.