I Am Awake, Shut Up Mum

In order to wake Alex from a dissociative/mute/withdrawn episode I sometimes use songs that attract her attention and simultaneously offer a reward if she can repeat the song.  Singing a funny song preferably with actions wakes her up.  By the time she can sing the song properly she is ready to safely walk around.

This was our latest: (Sung to the tune of “You are My Sunshine”)

I am an Alex

A hungry Alex

Shut up Mummy

I am awake

I need Samosas

To fill my Tummy

Oh someone take my mother away!

Published by autistsix

An autistic woman married to an autistic man trying to raise 4 autistic daughters in a neurotypical world

33 thoughts on “I Am Awake, Shut Up Mum

    1. No from experience it is better to like the same food, most foods aren’t a finite resource. A food you both love is more likely to make it into the house. Besides Alex is a sharer. Her other favourite food is lasagne, so does that suit?

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      1. she can have all the lasagne. for alex, i would MAKE lasagne.

        most days im a terrible cook, but i think i can probably get pasta with ricotta cheese and tomato down. yeah, i think i can manage that.

        im *mostly* serious about the marriage thing. i dont know how the heck i would get to australia, but someday i intend to find a woman like her and (hopefully) spend the rest of my life with them.

        theres a certain logic to cutting out the middleman and just going for her specifically– but id take a clone.

        true story, i moved to the uk for that once. she sent me back, then when i got back to the states she wanted me to come back AGAIN (not autistic– this one was just PLAIN OLD nuts. im both i guess, so i went back.) and when i got back, she sent me home again on our wedding day. and when i got back to the states again, she wanted me to come back, again!

        i told her i didnt have any more money for the plane ticket, which im unhappy to say is still true today.

        if i were to flee the country (dont worry, im not wanted here– in more ways than one, alas) i could probably scrape together the fare. au is a lot farther than the uk, but you get a discount for having to live with dingos and crocs (right?) or would they just send me off to p.n.g. like they do with the rest of the unwanted immigrants? 😦 (im not judging, just practical.)

        but im happy to joke and pretend this is all just for laughs for years, if necessary, until the details are ironed out. in the meantime– what do you think the nobel will be for? (not the peace prize i hope, theyll hand those out to any old war criminal for two boxtops and a skate key.)

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      2. in the throws of youth, i had trouble deciding myself. eventually i figured that history textbooks are generally kinder to scientists than war criminals, plus i like beakers.

        i suppose i like computer science best, but as a 4-year-old it was physics and chemistry. i switched to computers because im actually no good with physics and chemistry, but id happily listen to alex talk about it all day as long as i dont have to double-check her equations…

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      3. i made samosas tonight. not real ones, just the frozen ones that go in the oven. the real ones require a big pot of hot oil (i used to know a caterer from india, ive watched them get made.) these frozen things arent terrible.

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      4. Judge all you like, most Australians are appalled by out treatment of immigrants but we are stuck with a broken two party political system. Apparently we only don’t want immigrants in boats and have a system similar to ‘green card’ so if you turn up with the honest intention to marry if the holiday goes well you should be okay. Dingoes are predominantly lovely and crocs live up North. I have a cousin that works with dolphins and his brother runs a tourist boat through the North who knows all about crocs. And don’t worry about snakes and spiders none of them are venomous enough to kill you before you can get the antivenom, ditto the jellyfish. And we have a public healthcare system.
        Alex says “Yes samosas are the best” and did a fist pump thing. I think its going well.

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      5. Actually Alex is most interested in biology & forensics science. She’s interested in pursuing entomology covering both CSI and environmentalism. Unless she wins the prize for literature; she’s into Spec Fic.
        Cat is more your Chemist although her interests cover Archaeology and Paleontology. Again unless she is successful in Spec Fic.


  1. if you would, tell alex that the word “samosas” contains both my first name and all of my initials. online i usually maintain a bit of a cloak, but of course it gets dropped for any serious prospects. i will gladly give you my full name if we talk on the phone sometime. if you hate the phone that much, im certain that something else an be arranged. i can mail you a picture at some point too. (i got mixed up before, sorry. its donkey from shrek, with a hint of prince charming.)

    im mostly estranged from my family, getting a little income (which they will cancel if i move) from a deceased parent (i wont lie, he wasnt the nicest person. i miss my grandmother terribly though, she was the greatest.) my skills with computers are substantial, but ive never managed (nor tried) the a+ certification. ive been studying it– the book is like every harry potter book glued together– way too much for one exam. i think you need 80% to pass.

    i think you know anna, anonymouslyautistic? my gripes with life (especially working) are more like hers, though the #1 problem for me is non-24. its really hard to get and keep a job when your body wants to sleep on a rigidly-random-cycle that naturally drifts from one time zone to the next one, until its circumnavigated local time throughout the globe. and when i dont let it do that, it punishes me with all its got. (and its formidable.)

    but if you needed a “second husband–” one who would actually marry your daughter instead of you (and be of some notable help with a variety of things) i might even be able to get a tiny bit of work, here and there. when i was in the uk i was looking for toilets to mop and a greencard wasnt part of the plan yet. of course, what i like is to do things above-board. its a strong preference. ive also thought perhaps i could work as a security guard, but i dont know if anyone needs that near where you live. if i have to stick to a schedule, nocturnal is the one for me. but ive never held down a job (nor has anyone ever helped me with much of anything, short of helping me get the heck out of highschool.)

    my life is in limbo, and ive got a palpable (even reasonable) fear that it will be in one as long as i live here. so you know… stuff like that. im undiagnosed– between hyperlexia (no one understood how i could read at age 2 and 3. they literally thought bert and ernie were somehow responsible for it,) unusual sensitivity to both light and noise, and dysgraphia, the only other logical explanation is “aliens.” (im skeptical.) ive been doing unintended temple grandin impressions with strangers in public since i was 4. (i introduced myself in such complete sentences that they used to look around like there was a camera hidden somewhere.)

    as to whether i could fall in love with alex? very safe bet i think. shes my type in so many ways. could she fall in love with me? life is hard. getting women to fall in love with me, not as hard– though you never do know for sure until they say they love you. if we worked the rest out eventually, im sure id fly around the world for alex– and a family. all the best. ❤

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    1. Spiders are not high on a list of Alex’s preferred bugs, actually. She especially hates the tactile feeling of webs. I think the fascination has a lot to do with the effects environmentally and forensically of bugs.
      I feel so sorry for your situation. Gav and I also need too much sleep & in cycles that are controlled by weather etc. not our choices to hold down a job. Distance I think is the biggest problem here.
      First things first though, you need to talk to Alex; http://talis687.deviantart.com/

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      1. i was hoping youd point me in a direction that made that possible. i wasnt sure if she had any presence online. thanks for the link.

        i sleep average amounts for a person, its just not on a schedule. ive got a high iq and ive been trying to figure out the sleep thing for about 20 years, so i think its safe to say its formidable. woudlnt it be a pip if alex solved it using her knowledge of ant biology someday? id marry her twice then.

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      2. If you marry her twice we get double bride price. My last offer was an albino python. Just had to check that Alex was okay with all of this.


      3. im fluent in python (but its named after the comedy troupe, not the serpent) and i used to know an albino, but he would be furious if i tried to use him in a trade.

        you (literally) can spy on alex and moi on her deviantart page fwiw, but thats the very last time i play an active role in helping you do so ❤ whatever happens, i want you to know you made this early morning (i guess its night where you are) magical, and i am truly honoured, thank you.

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      4. Love the Dragon Scales, so did Alex when she sat next to me. Alex really wanted me to tell you she is having trouble responding to your communications but it is not your fault and she’d like to keep trying. Alex has issues with communication in new social settings. So, going well, if you can be very,very patient.

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      5. your reply (both of you) made my morning.

        “Alex really wanted me to tell you she is having trouble responding to your communications but it is not your fault”

        thank you alex. dont worry, everything you need or want to say is okay. i know what its like to feel nervous about the next choice of words 🙂

        “and she’d like to keep trying.”

        you know, i will accept any form of communication. she could take photos or draw pictures, or link to images or websites online.

        the nice thing about language is that it can be accurate– but language isnt very accurate. we can be vague and work our way towards a better understanding.

        but perhaps that doesnt help. if nothing else, tell dear alex that its okay, take her time, i signed up at deviantart just to talk to her. perhaps i will meet a few friends there, but she is still the reason i post things.

        “Alex has issues with communication in new social settings. So, going well, if you can be very,very patient.”

        i would love to eventually become an old, familiar social setting for alex. my anti-valentines day song was “no other plans” by sunny levine: “i’ll be so free… i’ll make no other plans”

        for the time being, my heart and thoughts drift all the way there.

        it means a lot to hear from you guys– youre certainly on my mind.

        i have a silly question– do they still say “no worries” over there? because we think its an aussie expression, but ive been using it in the states for years.

        either way: no worries, alex ❤

        many thanks, alexs mum ❤

        p.s. one of the photographers i subscribed to on d.a. loves taking pictures of insects. im still not a fan, but i subscribed just because if i ever learn what kinds she likes the most, i can share them if they come up.

        weve got a couple varieties of ants that are completely harmless if you keep your place tidy (i havent had an ant problem in 17 years, and that was resolved within days.) grasshoppers and crickets are alright. we even had one of these as kids: https://www.etsy.com/listing/495152500/brass-cricket-keeper-potpourri-box except one entire side was glass. we fed them water and little bits of dry dog food.

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      6. We do consider “no worries” to be an Aussie expression and we use it all the time; along with “No wucking forries” which was part of a tourism campaign. As I said Alex is interested in their use to the environment and forensics. Mantises are a favourite, butterflies, crickets, grasshoppers, worms and snails are all popular with her. You’d have to ask her, my well known passion for mantises may tend to colour our conversations.

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      7. i was thinking of putting together a (very small) collection of 80s and 90s music, and since ive been thinking about australia a lot, the very obvious “men at work” (yes, groan at the mention) song came up.

        but thats not what i wanted to ask you about! after that, paul kelly started drifting in, and i wondered if you enjoyed him at all? i played “dumb things” several times last year. yahoo serious of course, brought paul kelly to the states for us. if i ever make a tribute video for dumb things, i promise to put in a mantis in as the frontman.

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      8. I hate to tell you this; I love men at work even that song. I really like Paul Kelly and I believe Alex likes him even more. By the way; we Aussies all claim New Zealand successes as Australian so Split Enz is also an option.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. i left a note on my profile, and a link to it on alexs. other than that i continue to try to think of things to post in terms of “coded pictures” as alex very accurately calls them. one of the many things the note mentions is that the code can do more than pictures.

        i told her not to worry about how long it takes her to reply. i hope for future replies, they are pure delight, but i understand. im mildly terrified of overwhelming her, as i could talk the ears off a donkey and the hunger out of a goat. but ive managed to talk to everyone from the local winos to state senators, plus everyone in between. of the people it annoys most i think my technician friend bears the brunt of it, and yet we still go to lunch.

        as always, i wish you a lovely day, and whenever i read “I have heard a lot about you from mum” another wave of gratitude crashes over.

        i long to speak her language https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDb_WsAt_Z0 (no, not “australian”) or get her to speak… any language. but as ive said: no other plans. 🙂

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      10. Actually a quirk of the autism has given Alex an American or Canadian accent. So you might be closer then you think. And Alex is fine as long as you don’t get upset with her.

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      11. it will be funny if we meet and i develop an australian accent (very possible with time) and she has a north american one. people would mix up where they two of us were from.

        of note, regarding alex and what i just put online: fig is a programming language that is designed (based on 25 years of coding in basic) to be as easy to learn/teach as possible.

        under the hood, it has a 24 or 32 bit (16777216 color) palette, but in terms of the language as-is, it only offers 16 colors. ive (this hour) written the first fig program that does more than 16 colors, which i have dedicated to alex. this is the code in fig that makes this program possible:

        function rgbcolor r g b
            now = 0 ; figcgapal[0] = (r, g, b)

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      12. thanks very much– i can do a lot more with 16 million colors (only about 1/16,000th of which are displayed in that particular demo) than i can do with 16.

        fig is about 2 years old, having started in early 2015– and its no small thing to have 16m color support now.

        alex really is the reason it happened today, instead of some other time (next year?) and in part because shes on deviantart, rather than wordpress.

        having a 16 color (4 bit) retro/dos palette to use on a site like deviant art, is like a little like trying to win on iron chef with an easy-bake oven.

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  2. I love how creative you are in supporting your family. I remember when my youngest was 7, 8, 9, he would become overwhelmed with a sudden change or flooding of emotion, and I used to ask him little questions, like “If this feeling were an animal, what would it be? If it were a color, what would it be?” and so on, and gradually he would come out of the withdrawal again. Kudos!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Creativity & fun are the best ways to deal with anything I think. My mother used to tell me different animals I could be to help me relax to go to sleep at night. Animals, colours, silly songs are all great ways to diffuse overwhelming emotions. Kudos back to you. And thanks!

      Liked by 2 people

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