Job Application – Public Speaker

I speak a lot of drivel, but I have been assured it is erudite, interesting drivel.  Admittedly I can get caught like a deer in the headlights if I become over stressed; but all it takes is one question and Pow!  My intellectual conceit and verbosity come to the fore and before you know it I’m off!

I tangent here, I circle there, I make no sense anywhere!  But the audience is unlikely to quickly realize they are being led on a merry dance down the garden and round and round the mulberry bush.  Keep in mind, as I have also been told, by the time they realize they might just sit back and enjoy the wild ride to nowhere.

I make no pretense at being a good conversationalist.  I like to listen & I love to talk, but turn taking etcetera adds a confusing anxiety to the situation that puts me off my game, somewhat.  I am…a Performer!

That and I am performing a role.  Lisa does not get up & talk; not even drivel, well, not for long.  But “Lisa” can perform for hours, and will unless a trail of chocolates is laid leading her away from the podium.

All I require is a pat on the head & a caffeinated drink; lots of sugar, and I’m on my way.  I can then be found lurking in the shadows outside your venue.  But worry not I’m only waiting for my lift.  Just pretend you can’t see me and continue on your way; satiated by a night of titillating babble.

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